Gale Gordon, who also voiced Weary Willie the Stork, is Oliver Ostrich. He reminds me of Dick Van Dyke’s character Bert in Mary Poppins!
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The Cinnamon Bear Episode 16 – Oliver Ostrich
Opening: Cinnamon Bear Theme
Cinnamon Bear: And here’s the Cinnamon Bear!
Announcer: It’s time again for Judy and Jimmy who, with their friends the Cinnamon Bear and Crazy Quilt Dragon are having a pretty difficult time. After Queen Melissa of Maybe Land gave them an envelope containing instructions for having their broken silver star put back together again. They set out for the Wishing Woods because the instructions were written in magic ink, and could only be read in total darkness. In the middle of the woods, they met Snapper Snick the Crooning Crocodile who lived in a big white bathtub and sang. He was very very much interested in the magic instructions, and asked if he might take a look at the envelope. Jimmy obligingly held it up for Snapper Snick to see, and clack clack went the crocodile’s jaws, and the instructions were gone.
Cinnamon Bear: A pretty kettle of kipper snacks this is, a pretty kettle. Jimmy: Yeah! What do you mean by chewing up Melissa’s important instructions, Snapper Snick? Judy: They were ever so valuable, and now we’ll never know what they said, and we’ll never be able to find out how our broken star can be mended. Snapper Snick: My friends, my friends! Don’t carry on like this. Why, I... Crazy Quilt: A fine thing! I do believe you’re the crudest crocodile I ever laid eyes on. Cinnamon Bear: And just wait till I lay me cinnamon paws on him, I’ll teach him a thing or two! Snapper Snick: Splendid! Maybe you could teach me how to sing a low H flat, huh? I’ve never quite been able to swing it. Jimmy: Well, if you didn’t have such a big nose, I’d twist it, that’s what I’d do. Judy: Oh, dear. Do you suppose if we went back to Melissa, she’d give us some more instructions, Cinnamon Bear? Cinnamon Bear: I’m afraid not, Judy. She’d probably think us very careless and unworthy. Snapper Snick: Oh, come! Come, my friends! Why so bleak? Don’t be like that! Didn’t you say you wanted to read the instructions? Judy: ‘Course we did, you bad, bad crocodile! But how can we read them when you’ve got them inside you? Snapper Snick: Didn’t Melissa say those magic instructions could only be read in total darkness? Cinnamon Bear: Sure that’s what she said, you big blunt nosed bully! Jimmy: But even if we did find some darkness like that, we wouldn’t have anything to read in it now! Snapper Snick: Ah-ha! Did you ever stop to think that there’s nothing more totally dark than the inside of a crocodile? Crazy Quilt: Goodness gracious me! That’s certainly total darkness, alright! But, uh, mm, you’re not suggesting, my good fellow, uhm, that one of us climb in and read them, are you? Cinnamon Bear: You bet he is! It’s just a trick, Crazy Quilt. A low, deceiving crocodilish trick! Snapper Snick: Balderdash, my fuzzy friend. I’m simply trying to be of assistance! That’s why I grabbed Melissa’s instructions and downed them. Judy: That doesn’t help us any, even if they are in a total darkness now. We can’t read ‘em. Snapper Snick: No, but I can. Crazy Quilt: Don’t be funny, my bathtub baritone. How can you read them if they’re snug in your tummy. Snapper Snick: Ha ha! Just a bit of Snapper Snick service, but perhaps a little explanation is in line, huh? A little light on the subject? Cinnamon Bear: You’re daffy. Just plain daffy. Snapper Snick: Not at all! You see, I can’t read a thing with my eyes. Not a word! Mother forgot to send me to school when I was a lad. Consequently, when I want to know something that’s in print, the only thing I can do is swallow it, wait till it’s digested, and then I know what it says. Jimmy: You mean you just eat anything that’s written, and you know what it is without looking at it? Snapper Snick: Exactly! And a voracious reader I was in my day, too. Used to digest three or four mystery stories a day. Got them from a circulated library, but finally they took my card away because I never returned the books. Judy: Oh my goodness! Crazy Quilt: You seem to have too literary an appetite, I suppose. Snapper Snick: Well, I couldn’t return them, you see. Most annoying, too. Why, I haven’t read any good books in ages. Have to content myself with old newspapers and magazines. Crazy Quilt: Then you can read Melissa’s instructions. Snapper Snick: Absolutely! Read anything I eat. In some ways, and advantage. I eat all my singing lessons. And the music, too! Incidentally, I have quite a repertoire of songs on tap. How would you like to hear me sing On the Road to Maybe Land? Hm… Cinnamon Bear: If you don’t mind, we’d much rather hear you read those instructions. Judy: Yes, please do, Mister Snapper Snick. How long does it take you to digest something, so’s you could read it? Snapper Snick: Well, that depends on what it is. Took me all last summer to digest half of Anthony Crocodile, then I gave it up. Little too much of a meal. But these instructions are nothing! Should be digested by now. Jimmy: Hurry up and read them, Snapper Snick. We’ve got to get going! Snapper Snick: Very well. Must close my eyes first, so I can concentrate. There. Mhm! Ah! Mmm! My, my! Judy: Tell us quick! What do they say? Snapper Snick: Most interesting! Quote: Then Christopher Crocodile stared deep into Cynthia Crocodile’s blue eyes, and then… Oh, pardon me, got mixed up with a short story I ate out of Crocodile Confessions this morning. Cinnamon Bear: Aw, quit fiddling around and read the instructions, will you? Snapper Snick: Right away. Ah! Here we are… Quote: The Wishing Well is where to go to find out what you want to know. Unquote. Jimmy: Gee! That doesn’t say how we can get the silver star put back together again. Judy: It just tells us to go someplace. Are you sure you read them right, Mister Snapper Snick? Snapper Snick: Positive! They’re right there in black and black. Crazy Quilt: If you’ll remember, Judy, Melissa said it would take a little extra magic to fix the star. This just means we’ll have to go to the Wishing Well for further instructions. Cinnamon Bear: That’s it. Do you know how to get to the Wishing Well, Snapper Snick? Snapper Snick: Mmm… not exactly. I never venture very far away from my pleasant bathtub. But they tell me it’s in that direction. Jimmy: It is!? Come on, everybody. Let’s get started. Judy: Yes! Let’s. Thanks so much, Mister Snapper Snick, for reading Melissa’s instructions and everything. Snapper Snick: Oh, glad to have been of some assistance, and sorry you can’t stay to hear me sing a bit. Really remarkable voice, you know. May do a little opera next season. Cinnamon Bear: And that’s again! Thanks again, Snapper Snick, and goodbye! Crazy Quilt: Yes, goodbye. Judy and Jimmy: Goodbye, Mister Snapper Snick. Snapper Snick: Ah, yes! Goodbye, my friends. Regret I can’t walk away with you, but must practice my scales now. Cinnamon Bear: Well, I guess everything has turned out for the best, after all. Judy: I guess it has, alright. But, my goodness! Who’d have thought of reading those instructions in a crocodile’s tummy? Jimmy: I was all ready to bust him one. Crazy Quilt: It certainly was as close to total darkness as you’d be able to find anywhere. Cinnamon Bear: I wonder what we’ll find out at the Wishing Well. Crazy Quilt: Which Wishing Well do you think we’re supposed to find? There must be more than one. That’s why these are called the Wishing Woods. I fell into a lemonade wishing well once upon a time, you’ll remember, but I didn’t think to make a wish to keep my colors from running. Judy: I suppose we have to wish that the star is put back together again. Crazy Quilt: Ah, that sounds logical. Jimmy: Gee! What’s that? Judy: Sounds just like a clock, but what would a clock be doing here? Crazy Quilt: I’m sure I don’t know, but, we find many strange things in the Wishing Woods, you know. Cinnamon Bear: It sounded like it came from over there. Let’s go ‘round this tree and see where it comes from. Judy: My goodness! It looks like a feather duster, but it’s got shoes on. Jimmy: Yeah! And they look just like those old shoes of Uncle Jed’s up in the attic. Judy: Yes. Jimmy: I know what it is! It’s an ostrich. I’ve seen pictures of ‘em. Crazy Quilt: Ahoy, friend ostrich! My word, he’s got his head stuck in the ground. Ostrich: Who’s there? Jimmy: Just us. Judy and Jimmy. Crazy Quilt: Paddy O’Cinnamon, and yours truly, Crazy Quilt. Ostrich: I’ll be right out. Judy: What do you suppose he’s doing with his head stuck in the ground that way? Cinnamon Bear: Maybe he can tell you, Judy. Ostrich: Hello there, my friends. And what can I do for you today? Jimmy: Well, we were just wondering… Judy: About that ticking noise. Ostrich: Oh, that. Just my breakfast, mates. A lovely green alarm clock. Judy and Jimmy: Alarm clock? Ostrich: Yes, Oh, it was a beauty alright. Most refreshing. Judy: Jimmy, I remember that ostriches eat awful funny things. Don’t let him see the broken star. He might take that away and eat it. Ostrich: Pardon me, little lady. I couldn’t help hearing what you said. Very keen ears, you know. You don’t have to worry about my eating anything you may happen to have with you. I’m not like other ostriches. I’m delicate, that’s what I am. Delicate.
I’m an ostrich that knows what he likes. If you don’t think I am, you’re mistaken. My favorite dish is divinely delicious. It’s scrambled alarm clocks and bacon.
Some ostriches go in for dainties, Like hot water bottles and socks. They rave about lampshades and doorknobs, But stick up their noses at clocks.
I’ve tried everything in the cookbooks, And of all of the food I’ve partaken, There’s nothing so yummy or good for the tummy As scrambled alarm clocks and bacon.
Just follow my simplified diet, For peaceful contented insides. Alarm clocks will stifle your hunger, And call you for dinner, besides.
You can set all the clocks that you eat, For the next time you wish to awaken. And when they start clanging, you’re up with a bang, And it’s scrambled alarm clocks and bacon. Strike me pink! Dear scrambled alarm clocks and bacon.
Judy: You certainly are a very unusual bird, Mister Ostrich. Ostrich: Oliver’s my name, little lady, and you don’t have to put a handle to it. Just plain Oliver. I will admit to the unusual without too much boasting. Judy: Would you mind telling us why you put your head in the ground? Oliver: Not at all. Just having had my breakfast, I was indulging in a spot of meditation. Crazy Quilt: He means was thinking, Judy. Judy: Oh! Oliver: And I always thinks best with me head that way. Jimmy: Do you know which way it is to the Wishing Well, Oliver? Oliver: Rather! Right in front of your nose, it is. Cinnamon Bear: Where? Oliver: A bit leftish of where I’m standing now. Do you see it? Jimmy: Ah! It looks like an old tree stump. Oliver: That may be, young man, but it’s the Wishing Well for all of that. Judy: What’s that? Oliver: Strike me pink! That’s the clock telling me it’s time for more scrambled alarm clocks and bacon. I hates to have to dash off like this. No end. Sorry. Cheerio. Crazy Quilt and Jimmy: Goodbye! Judy: Thanks Mister Oliver. Cinnamon Bear: Well, I guess it’s up to us to look it over, anyway. It doesn’t look like a well from here, now does it? Crazy Quilt: It certainly doesn’t, but come on. Jimmy: Gee! I can’t see over the top of it at all. Can you, Judy? Judy: No! I’m standing on my tiptoes, too. Crazy Quilt: I can see over it. Hmmm! Certainly is dark down there. Cinnamon Bear: Oh, stop taking up all the room, Crazy Quilt. Now, come on. Let me look. Crazy Quilt: Most certainly. Want a boost, Paddy O’Cinnamon? Cinnamon Bear: No, I’ll just climb up on your shoulder. Crazy Quilt: Just as you like. Making it alright? Cinnamon Bear: Of course I’m making it alright! I… There. Well, well! I’m not making a pun, I hope you understand. Crazy Quilt: Oh, no! Cinnamon Bear: There must be something to show it’s a wishing well. A sign or some writing… Hm. Awfully dark down there. Jimmy: What do you see, Cinnamon Bear? Cinnamon Bear: Not a blessed thing, Jimmy. Just a minute. I’ll lean over a little farther, and… oh-oh oh! I’m slipping, I! Oh! Judy: Oh, my goodness! Jimmy: He’s fallen into the wishing well.
Announcer: Poor Cinnamon Bear! The bottom of a deep, dark wishing well is certainly a terrible place to be. And while we’re on the subject of wishing wells, I wish I knew how the Cinnamon Bear is going to get out. But it looks like we’ll have to wait till next time for that. And believe me, I’ll be right here to meet you.