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Hanley Stafford is the voice of Snapper Snick. Born Alfred John Austin (September 22, 1899 – September 9, 1968) in Hanley, England, this is obviously where he got his stage name. He is best remembered for playing Lancelot Higgins, aka Daddy on Baby Snooks, a radio show that he acted in for 14 years from December 1937 (right after The Cinnamon Bear aired) until the series finale. He also played Dagwood Bumstead’s boss on the Blondie radio program. Hanley Stafford has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Download all of Cinnamon Bear’s episodes at Radio Echoes. You can also listen to each episode there without downloading. Here is the link to today’s episode: Cinnamon Bear Episode 15
The Cinnamon Bear Episode 15 – Foiled by a Crocodile
Opening: Cinnamon Bear Theme
Cinnamon Bear: And here’s the Cinnamon Bear!
Announcer: When we left Judy and Jimmy and the Cinnamon Bear last time, they were in high spirits, and for a very good reason, too. You remember that after the Crazy Quilt Dragon sat on the silver star, and broke it into a dozen pieces, they decided to visit Melissa the beautiful queen of Maybe Land to see if she could help them, and sure enough, after the Grand Wonky presented them to Queen Melissa, she told them the silver star could be restored to one piece if they’d listen carefully to everything she said. And I, for one, am going to listen very carefully, because this is most interesting.
Judy: You mean you can fix it so our silver star will be all together again and won’t be broken like it is now?
Queen Melissa: That’s exactly what I mean, Judy.
Jimmy: Jiminy Crickets! And will we be able to put it on our Christmas tree just like we used to? Queen Melissa: On the very tip-top, Jimmy, and no one will ever know it was the very least bit broken.
Judy: Oh! That’ll be wonderful!
Queen Melissa: Now, I will have to write a few simple instructions for you to follow. Grand Wonky, will you please get me my magic ink?
Grand Wonky: Yes, Your Majesty.
Judy: We’re awfully grateful, Melissa. We were just about to give up and go home.
Jimmy: You bet! And after all the things we did to get the star, too.
Grand Wonky: Here’s the magic ink, Your Majesty.
Queen Melissa: Thank you, Grand Wonky. And now, I will write down the instructions for you to follow. There! Now I’ve put the instructions inside this envelope, Jimmy, and you must follow them exactly.
Judy: Oh, goody! Let’s see what we have to do.
Queen Melissa: Oh, I’m sorry, Judy, but you mustn’t open it here.
Jimmy: Why?
Queen Melissa: Because, that would keep the magic from working. You see, restoring the silver star is going to take a special kind of magic. If it had been made in Maybe Land, it would be simple, but unfortunately it was made in the world, and that’s another matter. It will need quite a little extra work.
Jimmy: Will it be hard to do?
Queen Melissa: No, not hard, but you must do exactly as they say. And, unfortunately, you can only read these instructions in total darkness.
Crazy Quilt: Uh, but Your Majesty, where can we find this absolute darkness?
Queen Melissa: Ah, that is a part of the magic that you must do for yourselves. But don’t worry, friends, I know it will work out alright.
Jimmy: Gee, Melissa, I don’t know how we’ll ever be able to thank you.
Judy: It’ll just make Christmas perfect, Melissa.
Crazy Quilt: Allow me to express my deepest thanks, Melissa, for past favors and present courtesy. I bow.
Cinnamon Bear: I’m not fancy, Melissa, but I’m much obliged to ya.
Queen Melissa: And you’re all quite welcome, dear friends. I hope you will visit me again after the silver star has been restored to its original beauty.
Judy: We’d sure like to, alright, Melissa.
Queen Melissa: Then do so. And now, Grand Wonky, would you please set our friends on their way? I would be happy to entertain you in my palace for a while, but I know you’re anxious to see your star mended and safe.
Jimmy: Yes, Ma’am! Thanks so much, but we do have to hurry, kinda.
Judy: Yes, we’ve got to get it back before Christmas.
Queen Melissa: Well, goodbye, then, and good luck!
Judy, Jimmy, Cinnamon Bear: Goodbye!
Crazy Quilt: Goodbye, Your Majesty.
Grand Wonky: Will you please follow me, single file, if you please, in the order in which you came in. Crazy Quilt: By the way, Wonky, old thing, could you drop us some slight hint as to where we might find this absolute darkness of which Melissa spoke?
Grand Wonky: I couldn’t even! It’s ever so rude, but my duties as Grand Wonky to Melissa’s court keep me quite confined, I don’t know a great deal about the country of Maybe Land at all, I’m sorry to say.
Judy: Oh, dear.
Grand Wonky: But I have heard, now mark you, this is only a rumor, and I cannot verify it in any way, I have heard that the Wishing Woods are very dark. Extremely dark, in fact. Jimmy: Do you happen to know the way to the Wishing Woods?
Grand Wonky: Oh, yes, I do! I’m happy to say. I’ve got a good many travel folders on it before I went on my vacation, but Mrs. Wonky decided she’d rather go to the Root Beer Seashore. And such a lovely time we had too, took a small cottage…
Crazy Quilt: Yes, yes, yes….
Grand Wonky: Dear, Dear, Dear, now. Where was I?
Judy: You were going to tell us how to get to the Wishing Woods.
Grand Wonky: Oh! Yes. So I was, so I was. Well, it won’t take you very long, not at all. Directly North of the Marshmallow Meadows, as the crow doesn’t fly.
Cinnamon Bear: Uh, thanks, Wonky. Much obliged for the assistance.
Grand Wonky: Oh, don’t ever mention it. Just pop along, down the marble staircase and straight ahead, and dear dear dear dear. Almost forgot something. Here. This box is for you to take along with you.
Jimmy: What’s in it, Wonky? Some more magic?
Grand Wonky: Oh, you’ll find out when the time comes. Oh, yes, here’s the door. My, my, my, I must see about oiling those hinges, mustn’t I? Such a racket they make. Well! I’ve got to be zipping, now. Charming of you to drop in. Dudley, fetch the oil can…
Crazy Quilt: What a character! What a character! You’d never know he was around.
Judy: I thought he was sort of sweet, Crazy Quilt.
Cinnamon Bear: Just a windbag, that’s all. Well, we’ve better get started, haven’t we?
Jimmy: You bet! The sooner we get where we can read those magical instructions, the better I’ll like it. Come on, everybody. Let’s find the Wishing Woods…… I wonder if this is the Wishing Woods? Crazy Quilt: Oh, I’m sure it is. There’s a sign over there that says Wishing Woods.
Judy: Oh, I’m so glad! Look! There’s another sign. What does it say?
Cinnamon Bear: Wait a minute! It’s printed a bit smaller. Oh, S. S. Crocodile, Esq.
Judy: What does that Esq. Mean?
Cinnamon Bear: I expect it means to ‘esq’ S. S. Crocodile.
Judy: Oh. I guess he spells like me.
Crazy Quilt: Uh, have you still got the broken pieces of the silver star in your hanky, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Yep! Safe and sound!
Judy: Well, you have Melissa’s instructions, too, so I think I better carry your hanky for you.
Jimmy: Alright. Here it is.
Crazy Quilt: And now, shall we follow this little path? Seems to be as good as any. Maybe this Crocodile person can give us some idea as to where it is totally dark in the Wishing Woods.
Cinnamon Bear: He might at that!
Judy: Cinnamon Bear, did you look in that box that the Grand Wonky gave you when we left the palace?
Cinnamon Bear: No, why?
Judy: I was just awful curious, that’s all.
Cinnamon Bear: Well, there’s no special orders about opening this, so here goes!
Crazy Quilt: Oh!
Cinnamon Bear: Well bless my stuffings, cinnamon buns!
Judy: Let me see. Oh, Jimmy! Peanut butter sandwiches, and apple pie…
Crazy Quilt: And lollipops, if I’m not mistaken! Mmm…
Jimmy: Oh, boy! This is swell!
Judy: Mmm! Oh! Here’s a note! ‘My dear friends, I hope you will enjoy your picnic lunch in the Wishing Woods. When you have finished, tie up the box again, and the next time you are hungry, open it, and you will find another lunch. Love, Melissa’.
Jimmy: Gee, Melissa sure is a peach, alright.
Crazy Quilt: Well, far be it from me to call our gracious ruler by such a name, but she surely is kind and thoughtful.
Cinnamon Bear: Mmm! Yummy! Such cinnamon buns! Chock full of currants, too.
Judy: My! I didn’t know I was hungry, but I certainly was.
Cinnamon Bear: Delicious! I’ll tie up the box just like she said.
Crazy Quilt: Well, there. Shall we be moving? Oh, I say! Look ahead, down the path a bit.
Judy: My goodness! It’s a bathtub.
Jimmy: Yeah! And it’s a big white one just like we have at home.
Cinnamon Bear: What a strange place for a bathtub!
Judy: What’s that funny noise?
Jimmy: It’s coming from the bathtub!
Crazy Quilt: Why, so it is! There must be something in it!
Cinnamon Bear: Bless my stuffing, it’s a crocodile!
Judy: It must be the one on the sign. S. S. Crocodile, Esq.
Snapper Snick: Welcome to the Wishing Woods! Who am I? I can see it by the look in your eye! Ha Ha! Why, I’m Snapper Snick, of course, and very pleased to meet you! By the way, who are you?
Judy: I’m Judy, Mister, uh, what did you say your name was?
Snapper Snick: Snapper Snick, little girl! And who are the rest of you?
Jimmy: I’m Jimmy.
Cinnamon Bear: Paddy O’Cinnamon, the Cinnamon Bear!
Crazy Quilt: I’m the Crazy Quilt Dragon!
Snapper Snick: Well! Well well well well well, so kind of you to come all this way to see me.
Judy: But we…
Snapper Snick: I’m very glad you came today. There hasn’t been a single person, and I was beginning to feel quite lonesome.
Jimmy: Well, you see…
Snapper Snick: Of course, I’m very comfortable, very comfortable, with my bath. Like my tub? Quite an acquisition, it was, very. I got it when they redecorated the royal bath last spring. Genuine porcelain with chromium taps!
Cinnamon Bear: It’s very nice, but…
Snapper Snick: But, you say, one can’t spend all one’s time in the bath! Ha-Ha! That’s because you’ve never thought of the bath in all its possibilities!
Crazy Quilt: You are quite right, but…
Snapper Snick: Have you ever noticed the wonderful acoustics in the bathtub? Of course you haven’t. Have you ever thought of bathtub singing as a fine art? Again, you have not, but Snapper Snick has! Oh, yes, indeed! That is why I’ve remained a hermit, as it were, in the midst of the Wishing Woods, perfecting my art until it could be heard in all its glory by the listening world. The first bathtub singer to be heard on the air. What a sensation! The Bathtub Baritone. Snapper Snick the Crooning Crocodile!
Judy: But, we didn’t…
Snapper Snick: But you didn’t come to talk, you came to hear me sing, isn’t that right? Well, your wish is granted. I’ll sing without delay.
Jimmy: Hey! We didn’t come to see you!
Snapper Snick: Oh, you didn’t? Why didn’t you say so?
Cinnamon Bear: Sure, and you didn’t give us a chance!
Crazy Quilt: These young people are on a very important mission.
Snapper Snick: Oh! Indeed, and where did you come from?
Crazy Quilt: Just now we came from the queen of Maybe Land.
Snapper Snick: Oh, dear, dear Melissa. And how is she? Always so kind to me, Melissa is. So kind. Lovely girl, don’t you think?
Judy: She’s awful nice, alright. She’s going to help us fix our silver star.
Snapper Snick: What silver star?
Jimmy: Ours. It belongs on top of our Christmas tree. First it got lost…
Snapper Snick: Lost! Oh, and don’t I know how you must feel? Don’t I know! Last spring I lost my voice…
Cinnamon Bear: Congratulations.
Snapper Snick: What do you mean, ‘Congratulations’? For days I was petrified. And then my beautiful voice came back, twice as lovely as ever before. However, it’s too bad you weren’t here to notice the improvement. I’ll demonstrate by singing my favorite number, That’s Why Crocodiles Were Born. In the key of Q.
Judy: But we haven’t time to listen. Besides, the star isn’t lost anymore. We found it, and it got broken into a dozen pieces.
Jimmy: And Melissa gave us some wonderful instructions, so we can get it all back together again.
Crazy Quilt: Uh, but they aren’t to be read except in total darkness.
Snapper Snick: Oh! Most intriguing. May I take a squint?
Jimmy: Of course! They’re right here in this envelope.
Snapper Snick: My, my! Would you mind holding it a little closer? Broke my bifocals last week, can’t see worth anything.
Jimmy: There. You sure oughtta be able see now, Mister Crocodile.
Snapper Snick: Ah! Much better. Much better! Ha-Ha!
Jimmy: Hey! Hey, don’t do that!
Crazy Quilt: Well, I never!
Judy: Our magic instructions! He swallowed them!
Announcer: Well, there seems to be a regular epidemic of swallowing things, doesn’t there? First the wailing whale swallowed the silver star, then Crazy Quilt swallowed the whistle which Fee Fo the Giant gave to Jimmy, and now Snapper Snick the Crooning Crocodile has up and swallowed Melissa’s most valuable instructions. Looks mighty bad, alright. But let’s be on hand next time and see what happens.
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanley_Stafford
https://www.hollywood360radio.com/newsletter-september-2021/
