Scary Stories Treasury – The Hearse Song

Read Time:8 Minute, 53 Second

The Hearse Song Kitty: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Winterjoy: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

We are finally at that iconic song —- possibly the most famous and memorable addition to Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark — The Hearse Song!!

The Hearse Song

Don’t you ever laugh as the hearse goes by,
For you may be the next to die
They wrap you in a big white sheet
From your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
Then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawl in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it on a slice of bread,
And that’s what you eat when you are dead.

***

Schwartz cites Doyle p. 175 for this cheery rhyme. I found the book he is referencing to be What’s Going On? (In Modern Texas Folklore) (1976), which is, to quote the dust cover, “a collection of essays by contemporary folklorists who are writing about the customs and traditions and the songs and the stories that are going on now.” Although the citation that Schwartz gives is Doyle, this book was actually compiled and edited by Francis Edward Abernethy. The essay that the hearse song is included in was written by Charles Clay Doyle. It is a long essay, spanning pages 175-190, so it will not be fully printed here, but I’ll include a few variations to the above rhyme. The article starts with this variation:

Did you ever think as the hearse goes by
That you may be the next to die?
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
And drop you down ’bout six feet deep.
All goes well for about a week,
And then your coffin begins to leak
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochole on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes
A big red worm with rolling eyes
Will crawl in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it on a piece of bread
But you never know it because you are dead.

Can you tell the differences in the two rhymes above? They are slight, but change the meaning just that much. Even from the first line, it says “Did you ever think…” instead of “Don’t ever laugh…”, which honestly makes more sense, in my opinion. Why would your first reaction to be to laugh at a hearse driving by?

In his essay, Doyle concludes that, after interviewing over 1000 people of different enthicities, backgrounds, and ages, the Hearse song is white American folklore. It is also children’s lore, which makes it even more niche in the fact that many people learned it in grade school and haven’t heard it since, except from the children around them who know it. He also says that, though it is known throughout every state, it is more known in California, Illinois, and New York than in Texas (where he hails from) or Georgia. While reading about the history of this folk song, I realized that I haven’t heard it anywhere else except Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Granted, this essay was written many years before I would have learned it, so perhaps by the time I read it in Scary Stories, it had already been less prevalent than in previous years.

It should be noted that this is not to say that it is not found in other countries. He says that he has not met anyone who learned the rhyme in a foreign country, but it definitely exists elsewhere. For one example, The Irish band The Pogues recorded a version of it which ends “be merry, my friends, be merry”. I think his limitations are because he only asked these people that lived in Texas in the 60s and 70s (when this was published).

Early printed versions of this song are very different from the one we now know. They come from World War I, and I think it makes the rhyme a lot more sad if you think of it in this context. Two versions were published with music by Carl Sandburg, one which I will reprint the lyrics here:

The Old Grey Hearse goes rolling by,
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry;
For you know some day it’ll get you too,
And the hearse’s next load may consist of — you.

They’ll take you out and they’ll lower you down,
While men with shovels stand all a-round;
They’ll throw in dirt, they’ll throw in rocks,
And they won’t give a dam-m-n if they break the box.

The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out,
They crawl all over your chin and mouth.
They invite their friends and their friends’ friends too,
And you look like hell when they’re — through — with you.

You’ll notice that the preceding song has very little resemblance to the Hearse song as we know it, which is in line with true folklore at its core.

Finally, I’ll include one more variation, this time printed by J. J. Niles. This one is definitely from WWI.

Did you ever think as the hearse rolls by
That the next trip they take they’ll be layin’ you by,
With your boots a swingin’ from the back of a roan,
And the undertaker inscribing your stone.

‘Cause when the old motor hearse goes rollin’ by,
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
For the grave digger will get you too,
Then the hearse’s next load will consist of you.

They’ll take you over to Field thirteen,
Where the sun is shinin’ and the grass is green,
And they’ll throw in dirt and they’ll throw in rocks,
‘Cause they don’t give a damn if they break your pine box.

Oh the bugs crawl in and the bugs crawl out,
They do right dress and they turn about,
Then each one takes a bite or two,
Out of what the War Office used to call you.

Oh, your eyes drop out and your teeth fall in,
And the worms crawl over your mouth and chin,
They invite their friends and their friends’ friends, too,
And you’re all chewed to Hell when they’re through with you.

It should be remembered that the children’s variation of The Hearse song did not necessarily originate during the war. Doyle spoke to Festus Carroll who distinctly remembered learning the song before the war.

Interestingly, Doyle makes the point that The Hearse song is not to be confused with the much older There Was An Old Lady All Skin and Bones. This is because of the line about the worms crawling in and out, and, admittedly, this is an easy mix-up, what with the same line and them being in the same form.

Kitty

In what environment did you read the story? In my living room. Today I was alternating between watching Dark Shadows, reading Japanese scary stories and also The Tommyknockers. I threw a little Bluenose Ghosts in there, you know, for good measure.
Do you remember having read this story as a kid? Absolutely! Actually, I remember telling my mom this poem, and she kind of laughed and had to correct me on how to say pinochle. I think I pronounced ‘pinnacle’. Hey, I was 10! I didn’t know what pinochle even was at the time! 😆 I always wondered why anyone would ever laugh when a hearse went by. That opening line always kind of struck me as odd.
Analyze the actions of the characters in the story. Did they make sense? Would you have done anything differently? Well, I think it’s kind of wasteful to wrap me up in a clean white sheet…. I mean, a dirty brown sheet would be fine by me. They can use the clean sheet for the bed. Oh, and why am I eating anything when I’m dead, also where did the bread come from?
Which was your favorite and least favorite character and why? My favorite were the pinochle players. Hope someone won a lot of money I’d they’re going to use my ‘snout’ for a sitting place. My least favorite character is the person who wrapped me in a white sheet for aforementioned reasons.
What did you think of the storytelling style? Pretty good rhyming/song rhythm. It’s just right. Last minute edit: Just realized they rhyme eyes with eyes.
Examine the art for the story. What are your thoughts on it? I feel like it looks more like a 1930s gangster car than a hearse, but also I haven’t seen a hearse in a long time, so what do I know?
Your overall rating and why: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ This one is perfect. I won’t even knock points off for the poor gangster car hearse drawing.

Winterjoy

In what environment did you read the story? In my room, drinking hot coffee. It’s 18 degrees outside!
Do you remember having read this story as a kid? Yes, I definitely remember this one!
Analyze the actions of the characters in the story. Did they make sense? Would you have done anything differently? If I was a worm and was designed to eat rotting flesh, I would probably do just that.
Which was your favorite and least favorite character and why? The worms are my favorite because they are nurturing the earth with their disgusting habits.
What did you think of the storytelling style? The rhyming was smooth and enjoyable (as much as describing rotting corpses could be). This was probably one of the most graphic of the stories so far and would 1,000% not be suitable as the same age child audience it was originally marketed to. The ending was funny! I don’t really remember an actual funny ending yet (or maybe there was very few).
Examine the art for the story. What are your thoughts on it? It’s ok. I think people want artwork of the body with worms but I guess the focus or lesson of the story is to not laugh at hearses going by so it works.
Your overall rating and why: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ nice rhyming, surprise ending, funny ending, graphic.