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What Do You Come For? Kitty: ⭐⭐ Winterjoy: ⭐
The third story in The Super Cool Scary Stories Book Club Thing is What Do You Come For?. If you’d like to know the details on my copy, visit my first post on the subject, in which The Big Toe is discussed. What Do You Come For? is yet another jump scare tale.
What Do You Come For?
There was an old woman who lived all by herself, and she was very lonely. Sitting in the kitchen one night, she said, “Oh, I wish I had some company.”
No sooner had she spoken than down the chimney tumbled two feet from which the flesh had rotted. The old woman’s eyes bulged with terror.
Then two legs dropped to the hearth and attached themselves to the feet.
Then a body tumbled down, then two arms, and a man’s head.
As the old woman watched, the parts came together into a great, gangling man. The man danced around and around the room. Faster and faster he went. Then he stopped, and he looked into her eyes.
“What do you come for?” she asked in a small voice that shivered and shook.
“What do I come for?” he said. “I come—FOR YOU!”
(As you shout the last words, stamp your foot and jump at someone nearby.)
§ § § § § § §
This story is a condensed retelling of a Scottish folktale that was printed (in verse) in Scottish Fairy and Folk Tales (1901) by George Douglas. This can be very hard to read, as it is written in Scottish dialect, so you can scroll down to the modern English version from English Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs from 1890.
A wife, was sitting at her reel ae night;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a pair o’ braid braid soles, and sat down at the fireside;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a pair o’ sma’ sma’ legs, and sat down on the braid braid soles;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a pair o’ muckle muckle knees, and sat down on the sma’ sma’ legs;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a pair o’ sma’ sma’ thees, and sat down on the muckle muckle knees;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a pair o’ muckle muckle hips, and sat down on the sma’ sma’ thees;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a sma’ sma’ waist, and sat down on the muckle muckle hips;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a pair o’ braid braid shouthers, and sat down on the sma’ sma’ waist;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a pair o’ sma’ sma’ arms, and sat down on the braid braid shouthers;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a pair o’ muckle muckle hands, and sat down on the sma’ sma’ arms;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a sma’ sma’ neck, and sat down on the braid braid shouthers;
And aye she sat, and aye she reeled, and aye she wished for company.
In came a great big head, and sat down on the sma’ sma’ neck.
“What way hae ye sic braid braid feet?” quo’ the wife.
“Muckle ganging, muckle ganging” (gruffly).
“What way hae ye sic sma’ sma’ legs?”
“Aih-h-h!–late–and wee-e-e–moul” (whiningly).
What way hae ye sic muckle muckle knees?
“Muckle praying, muckle praying” (piously).
“What way hae ye sic sma’ sma’ thees?”
“Aih-h-h!–late–and wee-e-e–moul” (whiningly).
“What way hae ye sic big big hips?
“Muckle sitting, muckle sitting” (gruffly).
“What way hae ye sic a sma’ sma’ waist?”
“Aih-h-h!–late–and wee-e-e–moul” (whiningly).
“What way hae ye sic braid braid shouthers?”
“Wi’ carrying broom, wi’ carrying broom” (gruffly)
“What way hae ye sic sma’ sma’ arms?
“Aih-h-h!–late–and wee-e-e–moul” (whiningly).
“What way hae ye sic muckle muckle hands? “
“Threshing wi’ an iron flail, threshing wi’ an iron flail” (gruffly.)
“What way hae ye sic a sma’ sma’ neck?
“Aih-h-h!–late–and wee-e-e–moul” (whiningly).
“What way hae ye sic a muckle muckle head?
“Muckle wit, muckle wit (keenly).
“What do you come for?
“FOR YOU!” (At the top of the voice, with a wave of the arm and a stamp of the feet.)
******And the modern English version:******
A woman was sitting at her reel one night;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a pair of broad broad soles, and sat down at the fireside;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a pair of small small legs, and sat down on the broad broad soles;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a pair of thick thick knees, and sat down on the small small legs;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a pair of thin thin thighs, and sat down on the thick thick knees;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a pair of huge huge hips, and sat down on the thin thin thighs;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a wee wee waist, and sat down on the huge huge hips;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a pair of broad broad shoulders, and sat down on the wee wee waist;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a pair of small small arms, and sat down on the broad broad shoulders;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a pair of huge huge hands, and sat down on the small small arms;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a small small neck, and sat down on the broad broad shoulders;
And still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.
In came a huge huge head, and sat down on the small small neck.
“How did you get such broad broad feet?” quoth the woman.
“Much tramping, much tramping” (gruffly).
“How did you get such small small legs?”
“Aih-h-h!-late–and wee-e-e–moul” (whiningly).
“How did you get such thick thick knees?”
“Much praying, much praying” (piously).
“How did you get such thin thin thighs?”
“Aih-h-h!–late–and wee-e-e–moul” (whiningly).
“How did you get such big big hips?”
“Much sitting, much sitting” (gruffly).
“How did you get such a wee wee waist?”
“Aih-h-h!–late–and wee-e-e-moul” (whiningly).
“How did you get such broad broad shoulders?”
“With carrying broom, with carrying broom” (gruffly).
“How did you get such small small arms?”
“Aih-h-h!–late–and wee-e-e–moul” (whiningly.)
“How did you get such huge huge hands?”
“Threshing with an iron flail, threshing with an iron flail” (gruffly).
“How did you get such a small small neck?”
“Aih-h-h!–late–wee-e-e–moul” (pitifully).
“How did you get such a huge huge head?”
“Much knowledge, much knowledge” (keenly).
“What do you come for?”
“For you!” (At the top of the voice, with a wave of the arm and a stamp of the feet.)
I find it interesting that in the originals of the story, the old lady is sitting at her spinning wheel, rather than sitting idle in her kitchen hoping for company. I suppose this is to avoid dating the story, as the Schwartz version could have happened at any point in time. Also noted was the question-and-answer style that was left out of his retelling. Remember, these stories were often told out loud, so the repetitiveness would have built suspense and, depending on the skill of the storyteller, would add to scare factor.
Stories like this are common to illustrate that Death has come to claim a person, though it is not explicitly stated that the corpse is Death in any of these versions. The nonchalant nature of the old lady while all these body parts are falling down indicates to me the idea that, we as humans, know Death will claim us all, though we keep working hard and do our duties until we come face to face with it. It also seems that the corpse has also gone through life, as he has worked hard, prayed hard, and done his duties. After some searching, I have no idea what “Aih-h-h!–late–wee-e-e–moul” means, (I don’t think many do!) though I did see someone speculate it might mean ‘up late and little food’, though I am skeptical about this. The context does make sense, as every time he says it, it is in mournful answer to why a certain body part is so small, but I just am not sure about this.
And now for the ratings:
Kitty
- In what environment did you read the story? Sitting at my computer with the book in my lap. It took two seconds to read!
- Do you remember having read this story as a kid? I definitely read this as a kid, but I would skip over it for the longer stories.
- Analyze the actions of the characters in the story. Did they make sense? Would you have done anything differently? Rule of thumb: Don’t talk to yourself out loud when you’re alone. You never know who’s listening. In this case, it was the gangling corpse. The fact that the lady didn’t run out screaming, but was just sitting there with her eyes bulging, tells me that she probably sees weird things in her house all the time. Still, I would at least have left the room to watch TV or something, instead of asking why he was there. What did she think he was going to say? “Ma’am, can I have a slice of cake?” nope, he was there for HER! As for the the actions of the dancing man — He was rude! The only person that is socially accepted to come down a chimney is Santa, and that’s iffy at best. What a faux pas! Bottom line: Don’t come down my chimney without pretty gifts.
- Which was your favorite and least favorite characters and why? My favorite character was the lady, because she obviously has a long history with (most likely) dead creeps bothering her while she is sitting by herself. She should learn from this experience, though, and wish a little more specifically next time. My least favorite character was the chimney man, because he’s a mean man.
- What did you think of the storytelling style? I like it better than The Walk (our last story).
- Examine the art for the story. What are your thoughts on it? Gross and alluring.
- Your overall rating and why: ⭐⭐ Imagine dead body parts falling down your chimney and attaching themselves. It’s also a rotting corpse, so it probably has smell factor. All those things together, this has nothing to do with my rating. It’s hard to rate such a brief story, but I think this would be fun to hear a storyteller tell in person.
Winterjoy
- In what environment did you read the story? On the floor of my apartment. I really need to get some furniture already! My window is open and someone is mowing their lawn and it’s really annoying me.
- Do you remember having read this story as a kid? I vaguely remember the picture associated with the story but not the story, so much, itself.
- Analyze the actions of the characters in the story. Did they make sense? Would you have done anything differently? For the first character introduced, the woman: I would probably run out of the house if a body dropped from my chimney. Or hit it with a frying pan. Also, how dare someone come to my house without texting me first?! What I would not do, however, is attempt conversation with it! For the second character, the body: I’m not sure. I guess if I’m already in the chimney, the only way to go is down. The dancing is a little too much in my opinion though.
- Which was your favorite and least favorite characters and why? My favorite character is the old woman because she’s just in her house, minding her own business as one should. My least favorite character is the body that abruptly disrupted her quiet day.
- What did you think of the storytelling style? It’s fine. I don’t know, haha.
- Examine the art for the story. What are your thoughts on it? I liked that you’re presented with a normal day that becomes anything but normal at the end.
- Your overall rating and why: ⭐ It wasn’t very spooky. And I don’t like dancing.
Sources:
https://scary-stories.fandom.com/wiki/What_Do_You_Come_For%3F
https://sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/sfft/sfft11.htm#fr_34
https://americanliterature.com/author/joseph-jacobs/fairy-tale/the-strange-visitor
My copy of Scary Stories Treasury. Get it anywhere books are sold.
