Scariest. Book. Ever. (House of Shivers #1)

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Scariest. Book. Ever. (2023) by R. L. Stine ⭐⭐

This book is part of R. L. Stine’s new House of Shivers series. It is the first one released, and it was published by Scholastic late last year. The second one just came out a few weeks ago, and R. L. Stine was doing a signing for it. Winterjoy went to New York City and got one signed for me! So this one is special. R. L. Stine, my favorite childhood, author actually TOUCHED this book! Here is what his signature looks like.

The book opens with the whole family in the car. Twins Betty and Billy, along with their big dog Bellamy, are being driven by their parents to weird Uncle Wendell’s house so that the parents can go on a business trip to London. The kids have never met Uncle Wendell, so they are apprehensive about staying there. Unfortunately, Uncle Wendell is the only one they could get agree to take the kids for the two weeks that the parents would be gone, so they are stuck.

After driving for hours, the kids are still whining (actually there is a lot of whining and complaining coming from the kids the entire book), and the parents are trying to reason with the kids. Uncle Wendell has a huge library, and the kids love to read, so they should be ecstatic, the mother says. They want to stay with someone they knew. I don’t really blame them, but the fact that Uncle Wendell has a huge library would be enough for me to be excited to go and explore it. There is also a forest in his backyard that is named Wayward Forest.

Well, eventually they are lost, and the dad complains about how late they are and that they will miss their flight. Billy says “Yay! Does that mean that we get to go to London with you?” Just wow. The kids are complete idiots. Not only does it not work that way, but why are you rejoicing when your father is angry?

Finally they find the house in the middle of nowhere, and though they knock on the door multiple times, Uncle Wendell never appears. What’s the logical thing for the parents to do? Well, they’re going to miss their flight, and this is unacceptable, so they leave the kids at the door never staying to make sure that Uncle Wendell is there. They literally leave the kids outside the house. They didn’t even think to call Uncle Wendell’s cell phone or anything. What if Uncle Wendell got the date wrong and wasn’t coming back today? They should have just left the kids by themselves if they weren’t going to make sure they were safe before they left.

One of the first things I noticed was that there are chapter titles. That is very abnormal for a Goosebumps book, at least compared to the original series. They’re huge spoilers, too.

Finally Uncle Wendell comes to the door and after Jesse his daughter feeds them, he tells them that a very important book is missing. They have to go find it. It’s the Scariest Book In The World, and if it got into the wrong hands, it would unleash evil on the world. They are told that they have to help him find it, so they all have to go into the forest. They are told that the dog must stay outside, and they are also told not to let the monster in the shed out.

When they go into the forest, they lose Uncle Wendell. There are scary creatures in the woods, so they decide to turn around and eventually they get back to the house. The thing inside the shed is banging on the door and yelling in English to let them out. It was definitely human. So Betty decides to let the thing out, much to Billy’s protest.

It’s a man who claims that he is the real Uncle Wendell, and brings them inside the house. He tells them that the man who originally claimed to be Uncle Wendell was a book thief called The Bookworm. Uncle Wendell brings them to where the book is, and unfortunately the Bookworm has come back to the house and heard everything that Wendell told the kids. Turns out that’s a fake, and when the Bookworm realizes this, he demands that the book be given to him, and Wendell opens a safe, but it is empty. They are locked in a safe, but Wendell has a key to get out. Oh, by the way, Billy has this ridiculous thing where whenever he is scared or nervous, he sneezes. You can imagine how many times this is used as a plot device. Too many.

Billy sneezes and Jesse and the Bookworm, who are ransacking the house looking for the real book, hear them and they are after them. Uncle Wendell says that the book is in the forest. He hid it deep in a cave where no one would ever find it. They get away, and they come to the Cave of the Locust, where they meet, you guessed it, huge locusts in a cave. Wendell leaves them to distract the bugs while he goes deeper to get the book.

The kids run out of the cave and meet yet another man, a stranger who claims that he is the real Uncle Wendell, and the man they thought was their Uncle is the Collector, his closest friend who he told too much to and thought he could trust. The kids decide that the only way to find out who is the real uncle is to have them guess what Betty’s real name is. Shocker: It’s not Elizabeth.

Anyway, the newest Wendell got it right, and suddenly tree bears attack the Collector and the real Uncle Wendell, Betty, and Billy get away safely. At some point, one of the Wendells tied up Jesse and the Bookworm in the basement. There is no more mention of either of them, and at the end it is said that the real Uncle Wendell ‘led the Collector away’ after being attacked by the bears.

Next thing we know, the kids are in the car and the parents are inquiring about their weeks with Uncle Wendell. They get home, and when they are unpacking, they see a big black book in their suitcase with a note from Uncle Wendell. They are told to hide it somewhere. Before they do, they decide to just take one little peek inside the book. The End.

I totally predicted that the first Uncle Wendell was fake (The Visit, anyone?) and was skeptical at first about the second one, but I never really imagined that there would be a third, final one.

Even though this physical book is special to me, I can’t give this a high star rating. There are just too many stupid things in the book, from the terrible parents to the weird sneezing issue Billy has to Will the Real Uncle Wendell Please Stand Up twist. I also hated the fact that the chapter titles were such spoilers.

That being said, it was a fun read, and if I gave half stars in my reviews, I’d give it 2 and a half stars.

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