OH MY GOODNESS! I am sooooo excited to be writing about our next voice actor because, not until JUST now did I realize who this guy was. Captain Tintop is voiced by the very well known actor Frank Nelson, who I know best on the Jack Benny Show. He was the man who made himself well known by his trademark ‘eee-YEEES?’. He just always happened to be the employee that was to be helping Jack when he shopped anywhere, much to Jack’s annoyance. He also did some great commercials for McDonalds in the 80s, and did some recurring spots on Sanford and Son, much in the same order as Jack Benny. I am glad to know that he had a hand in the best Christmas tradition I have ever known.
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The Cinnamon Bear Episode 25 – Captain Tintop
Opening: Cinnamon Bear Theme
Cinnamon Bear: And here’s the Cinnamon Bear!
Announcer: Exciting things are happening in the snow country where Judy and Jimmy and their friends the Cinnamon Bear and the Crazy Quilt Dragon are visiting with Santa Claus. You’ll remember that Santa ordered Captain Tintop and a detachment of tin soldiers to the Icicle Forest to battle the Bad Dolls, who stole the silver star. Reports came back from the front that the enemy was being led by a strange, unknown creature. A Maybegram from Queen Melissa flashed the news that the Wintergreen Witch had escaped from her prison in Maybeland. Confident that Wintergreen was leading the culprits, Santa rushed more men to the scene of battle. Then, just as we left them last time, Nicky Freudl bounded in to announce that the soldiers had returned victorious. And now we find Santa Claus leading his smiling visitors into his private office, where Captain Tintop, man of the hour, awaits them.
Judy: And Captain Tintop’s got the silver star? Oh, I’m so glad, Santa Claus!
Jimmy: You bet! Gee, we’re awfully grateful!
Santa Claus: Oh, sure! Save your thanks for Captain Tintop! He’s waiting for me in my office. Ah! Congratulations, Captain!
Captain Tintop: We have met the enemy, and they are ours!
Santa Claus: Well, well, well! That’s fine! And the star?
Captain Tintop: It is here.
Judy: Oh! Thank you! Thank you, Captain!
Santa Claus: This is Judy, Captain Tintop.
Captain Tintop: You servant, ma’am.
Santa Claus: And this is Jimmy, Captain Tintop.
Captain Tintop: How do you do, sir?
Judy: He’s fine, and so am I, now that we have our lovely silver star back again.
Jimmy: You bet.
Crazy Quilt: Uh, pardon my intrusion into this joyful occasion, no less joyful to me, I might add. But, might I inquire about that large wreath of evergreen which you are carrying in your other hand, Captain?
Santa Claus: Oh, this is the Crazy Quilt Dragon, Captain Tintop.
Captain Tintop: How do you do? This wreath to which you refer, sir, is all that remains, sir, of the enemy.
Crazy Quilt: Indeed? How so, Captain?
Captain Tintop: You may recall, sirs and ma’am, that in a previous report, mention was made of unexpected assistance to the resistance of the Bad Dolls.
Santa Claus: Yes, indeed! It was the Wintergreen Witch.
Judy: Ooo! It makes me shudder to think of her. What happened to her, Captain?
Captain Tintop: This, ma’am. This is what happened to her. This is the Wintergreen Witch, ma’am.
Cinnamon Bear: Serves her right!
Jimmy: Well, how did she get turned into a Christmas wreath, Captain Tintop?
Captain Tintop: Allow me to come to that later, if I may, sir. Santa Claus, sir, following arrival of reinforcements and intelligences re: the ally of the Bad Dolls, I gave command to surround them in the Icicle Forest. Thickness of icicles prohibiting air attack, made necessary concentration of infantry and artillery… uh. May I make suggestion, sir, that artillery is far more effective, there need newer models.
Santa Claus: Oh, come now, Captain. Come! I’m afraid that will hardly be necessary.
Captain Tintop: I do not agree, sir, but just a suggestion, sir. Giving orders not to fire until they saw the whites of their eyes…
Judy: Jimmy, he sounds like a history book, doesn’t he?
Captain Tintop: We awaited the onset of the fold. With the cunning they are noted for, the Bad Dolls made their attack quietly, so we were unprepared to some extent for their appearance, but quickly gave the command to fire the cannon snowballs, and our superior numbers told the tale. Proceeding according to your instruction, sir, all of the planes aloft with the witch net.
Cinnamon Bear: Witch net? So that’s how you got ol’ Wintergreen.
Captain Tintop: Ahem, yes.
Crazy Quilt: Oh, by the way, Captain, this is Paddy O’Cinnamon, the Cinnamon Bear.
Captain Tintop: How do you do?
Cinnamon Bear: Fine, my military friend, but go on with your story, please.
Captain Tintop: Proceeding in formation B2, the squadron flew until they sighted the enemy alie a green blotch on the white ground.
Crazy Quilt: My, my! This is exciting.
Captain Tintop: Well upon, they dropped the witch net, secured the prisoner, and returned to headquarters. As chief in command, the prisoner was placed in my custody, along with the defeated Bad Dolls. I may say, sir, as an officer and a gentleman, sir, I dislike very much the idea of placing a female under arrest, sir. But upon closer association with said female, sir, formed different opinion, sir.
Cinnamon Bear: I don’t blame ya, Captain. That old witch was a terror, no mistake at all about it.
Captain Tintop: She was a bit of a caution, sir, indeed. Having turned the Bad Dolls over to the repair factory to be re-stuffed, inquired of your head foreman, Santa Claus, sir, as to what might be done with the prisoner. Prisoner, not being citizen of Snowland, and having no orders as to final disposition of same, Foreman opined that prisoner might be made into something useful. I suggested Christmas wreath. Evergreen for wintergreen, you know.
Crazy Quilt: So, that’s how it happened.
Captain Tintop: Yes, sir. Any further orders, sir?
Santa Claus: No, no, that will be all for the present, thank you, Captain. Except that we would be very happy to have you with us at the banquet.
Cinnamon Bear: Banquet? Bless my stuffing!
Judy: Oh, Captain Tintop! You don’t know how good it makes us feel to know that mean old Wintergreen Witch can’t do anything to us anymore.
Santa Claus: And she certainly can’t, Judy. I’ll see to that personally. I’ll hang the wreath right up here in my office, and Nicky and I can both keep an eye on it. And now, how d’ya all feel toward a little refreshment? Hm?
Jimmy: Gee, Santa Claus, I think we’d all like it pretty much!
Cinnamon Bear: Deeeelighted! Well, when do we eat?
Crazy Quilt: Paddy O’Cinnamon, as one citizen of Maybeland to another, I’m ashamed of you.
Cinnamon Bear: Oh, you are, are you? Well, you can save the shame for yourself, that’s what you can do.
Santa Claus: Now, now, now! Stop that quarreling. Well! I take it that you’re all in the mood, hm? Very well! Follow me to the banquet hall!
Make a lot of children sing and shout
On Christmas morn!
Cinnamon Bear: Ah! Somebody pat me on the back. I’m so nice and full, my stuffing’s all bunched in the back.
Jimmy: Like… this?
Cinnamon Bear: Oh! Well, a little on that order, Jimmy, but that’s enough, thank you.
Crazy Quilt: I stopped counting all the cinnamon buns you were eating after I saw you take the twenty fifth, Paddy O’Cinnamon.
Cinnamon Bear: I don’t suppose you counted all the lime lollipops you had? What a crazy quilt cavern you turned out to be!
Judy: Jimmy, I think we’d better be getting home pretty soon, don’t you?
Jimmy: Yes, I do. You know, I feel sort of… well…
Santa Claus: Let down, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Yes, I guess that’s it. Gee, we’ve done so many exciting things, and I guess maybe I’m sort of tired or something. Anyway, it’s getting awful close to Christmas, and Judy and I have had a swell time with you, Santa Claus, and, well, we think we ought to go home.
Crazy Quilt: Ahem! As our adventures together draw to a close, as spokesman for our little party…
Cinnamon Bear: And just who appointed you as spokesman?
Crazy Quilt: As spokesman for our little party, may I say a few words?
Cinnamon Bear: No.
Crazy Quilt: Thank you. Tears come to my eyes when I contemplate parting from my dear, dear friends. The friends of adversity.
Judy: What’s that?
Cinnamon Bear: I think he means you all went to school together.
Judy: But we didn’t!
Crazy Quilt: But I realize that like all good things, even this, our quest for the silver star must come to an end. With laurels on our brow…
Judy: What’s he talking about?
Cinnamon Bear: Just let him rave. Crazy always has to make a speech.
Crazy Quilt: We spend these last few precious moments together. Oh… May I propose a toast?
Santa Claus: Well, I think that would be alright, friend Crazy Quilt.
Crazy Quilt: I propose a toast to those true friends, those stalwart friends… Ah, me! Those friends so soon to depart. Lift your glasses of milk, friends. I give you Judy and Jimmy!
Santa Claus: Well put! Well put. Well, have you all had enough?
Cinnamon Bear: I’m stuffed.
Santa Claus: Don’t wish to hurry you, but it’s getting time to leave. I’m going to take Judy and Jimmy…
Cinnamon Bear: And me, Santa! Don’t forget me.
Santa Claus: Oh, no! I wouldn’t forget you, Paddy O’Cinnamon! I’m gonna take you back with Judy and Jimmy to their attic.
Jimmy: Oh, boy! This is the biggest thrill yet!
Judy: You’ve been so awful kind, Santa! We don’t know how to thank you.
Santa Claus: Oh, sure! That’s alright. That’s what Santa Claus is for! To help children find happiness.
Jimmy: What about Crazy Quilt? Is he going back with us, too?
Crazy Quilt: Oh, no, thank you, Jimmy. I think not. In fact, I’ve been quite taken with the snow country. I’d like to stay on here for a bit.
Santa Claus: Well, that’s quite alright. Glad to have you. Oh, Nicky!
Nicky: Yes, Santa Claus?
Santa Claus: Is the sleigh ready?
Nicky: Just about, Santa Claus. They’re filling the last trailer now.
Santa Claus: Good! Have you checked everything with my list?
Nicky: Yes, I did that personally.
Santa Claus: Well! Alright, then I guess we can start. Come, children. Shake a paw, there, Cinnamon Bear. I’ll help you up, Judy. There.
Judy: Thank you, Santa, dear.
Santa Claus: Now, how about you, Paddy O’Cinnamon? You need any help?
Cinnamon Bear: Well, just a little boost, please, Santa Claus.
Crazy Quilt: Would you allow me that pleasure, Paddy O’Cinnamon?
Cinnamon Bear: I don’t trust you at all, Crazy Quilt, but you can do it just this once.
Crazy Quilt: Oh, such a way to regard the friend with whom you’ve gone through thick and thin.
Cinnamon Bear: How come this sudden burst of affection, Crazy Quilt? Are you feeling alright?
Crazy Quilt: Oh, quite! Here, let me help you up.
Cinnamon Bear: There. Thank you, Crazy. You know, sometimes you’re a good dragon. But only sometimes, mind you, only sometimes.
Judy: Have you got the silver star, alright, Jimmy?
Jimmy: You bet. Been hanging onto it ever since we got it back.
Santa Claus: Alright, you get in next, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Okay, Santa! Oh, will you please hold the silver star for me a minute while I get in, Crazy Quilt?
Crazy Quilt: Oh, with pleasure, Jimmy. Any little last minute favors, you know.
Judy: Goodbye, dear Crazy Quilt. I hate to go away and leave you.
Crazy Quilt: Goodbye, Judy, girl! Parting is such sweet sorrow! Oh dear! Oh dear, I’m afraid I may have to weep a few crazy quilt tears!
Judy: Oh, please don’t. We’ll see you again sometime. Sure we will!
Jimmy: Goodbye, Nicky Freudl. If you ever come to the world with Santa Claus, drop in to see us. I’ll show you my magic lantern set.
Nicky: Maybe I will, sometime, Jimmy. Thanks!
Santa Claus: Just take a look around, Nicky, and see that all the trailers are fastened securely.
Nicky: Alright, Santa.
Jimmy: Okay, Crazy Quilt. You can give me the silver star now. Crazy Quilt?
Judy: Where is he?
Jimmy: Willikers! I don’t know. Why, he was here just a minute ago.
Santa Claus: He must have dropped back to help Nicky. Uh, hi! Crazy Quilt!
Nicky: He’s not here, Santa.
Jimmy: Gee, where do you suppose he went…
Cinnamon Bear: Look! There he is!
Judy: Where, Paddy?
Cinnamon Bear: Over there, running as fast as he can go!
Jimmy: Jiminy Crickets! And he’s got the silver star!
Announcer: My, my! And I was just about to remark how beautifully everything was going. That Crazy Quilt Dragon is certainly an amazing fellow. After all the adventures he’s been through with Judy, Jimmy, and the Cinnamon Bear, whoever would have thought he’d steal the silver star again? But he did! And I must say, things look mighty serious. Christmas is just around the corner, and so is Crazy Quilt. And if anything’s going to happen, it’s got to happen quick. Let’s listen next time and see if it does.