Cinnamon Bear Episode #3

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Episode 3 is here! This is the episode where we meet Crazy Quilt! Crazy Quilt is played by famous actor Joseph Kearns (February 12, 1907 – February 17, 1962). Interestingly, the role of Crazy Quilt was his first appearance in radio. From there, he did lots of radio work, which includes playing Moriarity in The New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, as well as other characters in the show. On Suspense, he was heavily involved in the acting, announcing as The Man In Black as well as other characters throughout the series run. You also may remember Joseph Kearns is well known for playing the first Mr. Wilson on TV’s Dennis the Menace. Joseph Kearns voiced the doorknob in the 1951 classic Alice in Wonderland.

Download all of Cinnamon Bear’s episodes at once at https://archive.org/details/CinnamonBear. You can also listen to each episode on archive without downloading.

The Cinnamon Bear Episode 3 – Looking Glass Valley
Opening: Cinnamon Bear Theme
Cinnamon Bear: And here’s the Cinnamon Bear!

Announcer: Now let’s see what’s happening to Judy and Jimmy and the Cinnamon Bear! We left them at the bottom of Looking Glass Valley, where their airplane was forced down after Weary Willie the stork punched a hole in the fuel tank, and gulped all the soda pop gas. If you’ll remember, this made them very sad, especially because Weary Willie threatened to tell the Crazy Quilt Dragon that they were chasing him, and they were even sadder when Cinnamon Bear told them there was no way to get out of the valley.

Judy: (crying) I just know we’ll never get the silver star back from Crazy Quilt, and if we don’t have it to put on top of our Christmas tree…
 Jimmy: Look, Cinnamon Bear, aren’t there tools or something in the plane that we can use, you know, to cut steps in the sides of the valley like the Alpine mountain climbers do in ice?
 Cinnamon Bear: I thought of that, Jimmy, but this looking glass is very, very hard, and it won’t crack no matter what. I guess there’s only one thing for us to do, children.
 Judy: What’s that?
 Cinnamon Bear: Wait until it rains.
 Judy: But I don’t see what that will do to help us get out of here, Cinnamon Bear.
 Cinnamon Bear: That’s just because you’ve never been in Maybe Land before. You see, when it rains here, it rains soda pop.
 Jimmy: I see what you mean. Then we’d be able to fill up the aeroplane, and then fly out just the way we came in.
 Cinnamon Bear: Exactly!
 Judy: But when is it going to rain?
 Cinnamon Bear: Oh, me! Oh, my! That’s something I didn’t think about. It might rain tomorrow, and again, it might not rain until the next 4th of September.
 Jimmy: Well, we can’t wait around for a soda pop rainstorm. I wish I knew something magic to say that would just scoot us right to the top of that cliff.
 Judy: Look, Cinnamon Bear! Here comes Weary Willie, that bad old stork.
 Cinnamon Bear: So, it is, and I must say he has a nerve coming back after drinking up all our soda pop gas!
 Jimmy: As soon as he gets close enough to hear me, I’m sure gonna tell him a thing or two.
 Cinnamon Bear: Oh, don’t do that, Jimmy. I have a better idea. He’s an awfully conceited person, and if we flatter him a bit, maybe he’ll feel ashamed of himself and help us get out of here.
 Weary Willie: Hello, below!
 Jimmy: I’d like to punch him in the beak!
 Judy: Don’t talk too loud, Jimmy. You know what Cinnamon Bear said.
 Cinnamon Bear: Yeah, we must be very, very polite!
 Weary Willie: I say! Halloo, below!
 Cinnamon Bear: I’m sorry we haven’t any more soda pop, Weary Willie. Both for your sakes and ours, we’re stuck here and we can’t get out.
 Weary Willie: By Jove, I'm am deucedly unhappy to hear that, old man. In fact, I’m rather saddish to think that I was instrumental in causing your downfall, but I was confoundedly thirsty, you know, and when I’m thirsty, it brings out all the primitive in me.
 Judy: I don’t exactly know what you mean, Mister Stork, but whatever it is, I hope you feel better now.
 Weary Willie: Oh, I feel ripping, absolutely ripping! In fact, I feel so ripping that I should like nothing better at the moment than a good rousing game of ping-pong! Are any of you ping-pong minded?
 Jimmy: Naw, we don’t feel like it at all. Besides, we don’t have anything to play it with.
 Weary Willie: Oh, so we don’t. It’s just as well, too, because I’m a bit sloppish at ping-pong, anyhow. For some reason I always ping when I should pong, and vice versa.
 Judy: Well, Mr. Stork, I suppose you did what you said you would, and told that Crazy Quilt Dragon that we were chasing him to get the silver star back.
 Weary Willie: By Jove, I did. I’ve such a beastly rotten temper at times. I was provoked because you wouldn’t give me a lift. I just went stark mad for a moment, but I’m terrifically sorry, really, you’ve no idea how sorry.
 Cinnamon Bear: Lot of good it does us now, Weary Willie.
 Weary Willie: I have it! I’ll fly you out of Looking Glass Valley.
 Cinnamon Bear: That’ll be grand of ya! Won’t it, children?
 Judy: You bet!
 Jimmy: Let’s go!
 Weary Willie: Very well, then! How will we manage it?
 Cinnamon Bear: Let me see, now, uh. Do you think we could all get on your back?
 Weary Willie: Oh, of course, I’ve a strapping physique you know, played rugby and all that. Oh, yes! I can carry all three of you without batting an eye!
 Judy: Well let’s hurry, please!
 Weary Willie: By all, means, by all means. Shan't delay a jaunt longer! Now I’ll kneel me down, and you may all ascend.
 Jimmy: You go first, Judy.
 Judy: Alright. I’m on!
 Cinnamon Bear: And now you, Jimmy.
 Jimmy: Okay! There! All set!
 Cinnamon Bear: Now me.
 Weary Willie: All aboard, Paddy O’Cinnamon?
 Cinnamon Bear: All aboard, Willie!
 Weary Willie: Then hold on tight. The hop up to the top of the cliff will be most grueling for me. I’ll have to exert every last ounce of my marvelous strength there. Are you ready, my friends?
 Judy, Jimmy, Cinnamon Bear: Ready!
 Weary Willie: Then we’re off. Bip Bip!
 Judy: Whee! Isn’t this wonderful?
 Jimmy: Gee, we’re climbing way up to the top!
 Cinnamon Bear: We’ve made it! Congratulations, Willie!
 Weary Willie: Oh, don’t mention it. It was nothing, nothing.
 Judy: Thank goodness we got out of that valley.
 Cinnamon Bear: Can you see the Crazy Quilt Dragon anywhere, Judy or Jimmy?
 Jimmy: No, I can’t. I guess he got tired of looking at himself in Looking Glass Valley, and went someplace else.
 Judy: Oh, dear! Where do you suppose he went?
 Weary Willie: Oh, according to my recollection of Crazy Quilt’s habits, uh, he’s apt to be taking a siesta at this hour.
 Judy: What does he mean, Jimmy?
 Jimmy: I don’t exactly know, but I’ll bet Cinnamon Bear does!
 Cinnamon Bear: He means that about this time every day Crazy Quilt generally takes a nap.
 Weary Willie: Right-o! And if I may enlarge upon my statement, he frequently takes his siesta in the vicinity of the Root Beer Ocean!
 Cinnamon Bear: Could you take us there, Weary Willie?
 Weary Willie: Oh, it would give me untold joy to do so, my friend. I feel it incumbent upon me to make amends for my caddish conduct this afternoon. How would you like to have me fly this time? Fast or slow?
 Jimmy: Oh, fast, Mister Stork!
 Judy: As fast as you can. We’ve just got to catch up with Crazy Quilt!
 Weary Willie: Right-o! Here we go! Bip Bip!
 Cinnamon Bear: Whee! When you fly fast, you really fly fast, don’t you, Willie?
 Weary Willie: Oh, but definitely! Some call me the Streamlined Stork!
 Jimmy: And you sure brought us to the right spot, Mr. Stork. There’s Crazy Quilt right over there! And he’s sound asleep.
 Judy: And look! He’s got the silver star right under his nose.
 Cinnamon Bear: Ah ha! The villain has been brought to bay! We’ll just hand him the surprise of his life.
 Weary Willie: Uh, pardon me, my friends, but may I be of any further service?
 Cinnamon Bear: No, thank you, Willie. It’s been most kind of you to carry us here.
 Judy: You were wonderful, Mister Stork. Thanks a million.
 Weary Willie: Oh, not at all! After my unmitigated thirst caused you to make a forced landing in an inaccessible locality, it was little enough for me to make amends in the small manner in which I have, and, of course...
 Cinnamon Bear: And it was very big of you!
 Weary Willie: And as a final favor, will you allow me the pleasure of sending you an autographed copy of my latest travel book? It’s bound in purple alligator skin, printed on felt and uh…
 Cinnamon Bear: I’d be thrilled to death. Just send it to Paddy O’Cinnamon, General Delivery, Wintergreen Forest.
 Weary Willie: Oh, but I didn’t finish telling you about…
 Cinnamon Bear: Thanks a lot, Willie, you been a brick.
 Weary Willie: Oh yes, so I have. Well, I must pop along now, my dear friends, and I wish you success in your endeavor.
 Judy, Jimmy, Cinnamon Bear: Goodbye!
 Weary Willie: Bip, Bip!
 Cinnamon Bear: So long, Willie!
 Judy: Well, that’s over. He sure talks a blue streak.
 Cinnamon Bear: Yeah, but he turned out to be a big help, after all. Now let’s surprise Crazy Quilt. I see he’s still snoozing away over there.
 Jimmy: How do we do it, Cinnamon Bear?
 Cinnamon Bear: Well, he’s right near the cliff overlooking the Root Beer Ocean, so the thing to do is to close in on him from three sides. Now, Jimmy, you take that side, Judy, the other, and I’ll walk straight at him.
 Jimmy: Alright. Come on.
 Judy: Isn’t it exciting, Jimmy?
 Cinnamon Bear: Shh! Not too loud, you’ll wake him up. When we get near enough, one of you can snatch the silver star from under his nose.
 Judy: (hearing buzzing) What’s that?
 Cinnamon Bear: Oh, dear, it’s one of those military minded mosquitoes, and he’s making right for Crazy Quilt.
 Crazy Quilt: Oh! Ooo! What goes on here?
 Jimmy: Willikers! He bit Crazy Quilt right on the nose, and woke him up!
 Judy: And just when we were about to get our silver star!
 Cinnamon Bear: We’ll have to try something else. Hey you! Crazy Quilt!
 Crazy Quilt: I’m very busy right now, Cinnamon Bear! I’ll speak to you some other time.
 Cinnamon Bear: He’s trying to run away. Close in on him, children! (much commotion) Come on, let's go now, hurry up get over this way, get over there. That’s it! We got him backed up right at the edge of the cliff!
 Crazy Quilt: Why, I don’t understand. What does all this mean?
 Jimmy: You know what it means, Crazy Quilt! We’ve got you this time.
 Judy: Where’s our silver star?
 Crazy Quilt: Uh, silver star? What silver star?
 Cinnamon Bear: Don’t try to quibble, Crazy Quilt. Hand it over gratefully, and you can go your way.
 Crazy Quilt: Oh, what a terrible mistake you’ve made! Tut, tut, tut, tut! Why, I’ve never seen this, uh, 'silver star' you’re talking about. You must have the wrong party…
 Judy: You have too got it! I can see it even if you are trying to hide it. It’s our silver star, and we’ve got to have it to put on top of the Christmas tree!
 Cinnamon Bear: You stole it out of that trunk, and you know it!
 Crazy Quilt: Wha? Oh, come come come come! You think I would do such a wicked, wicked thing as steal? Oh!
 Cinnamon Bear: You still insist that you didn’t take it, Crazy Quilt?
 Crazy Quilt: I repeat, I have not seen it.
 Cinnamon Bear: Well, we’ll have to scare him. Let’s go.
 Judy: Wow! Scram, you bad dragon!
 Jimmy: Scat! Skiddoo!
 Crazy Quilt: Oh-ho ho! How funny!
 Cinnamon Bear: Grr-ah!
 Judy: Boo!
 Jimmy: Boooh!
 Crazy Quilt: Oh! Oh, help! Oh, don't ever do that! Oh!
 Cinnamon Bear: He’s tripping over the edge of the cliff! He fell into the ocean! Right into the Root Beer Ocean! Quick! We'd better run down so we can head him off when he comes out of the water! Come on!
 Jimmy: Hurry up, Judy! Come on!
 Judy: I’m coming!
 Cinnamon Bear: Get him, he can’t escape this time. There! He’s just coming up on the beach!
 Crazy Quilt: (crying) Oh, I’m so unhappy. Such unkind people to say ‘Boo’ to a Crazy Quilt Dragon! Don’t you know, you should never do that?
 Judy: Why shouldn’t we?
 Crazy Quilt: Well, I’ll tell you!
Don’t ever say ‘boo’ to a Crazy Quilt Dragon
  In hopes he’ll turn tail and run.
  There aren’t many words that will make him go crazy,
  But ‘boo’ is decidedly one.

You can say ‘cheese it’ or ‘scat’ if you please,
  It will certainly bother him none.
  Now ‘shoo’ or ‘skiddoo’, sir, would not be taboo sir,
  But ‘boo’ing is just never done.

Don’t ever say ‘boo’ to a Crazy Quilt Dragon,
  No, never, not even in fun.
  Remember a crazy quilt’s colors are fast and
  Are guaranteed never to run.
 Cinnamon Bear: Ha, that was very pretty Crazy Quilt, but you did run! So I guess you aren’t as guaranteed as you think!
 Crazy Quilt: Oh, but I didn’t run! I jumped! (children laughing) Go ahead and laugh! Oh, I suppose I deserve it for giving way to my baser self. But if you only knew how weak I am when something beautiful and shiny attracts me. So when I found the silver star…
 Jimmy: You mean when you stole it!
 Crazy Quilt: Well, if you’re wont to put it that way. Oh, I would never have taken it if I had known how much it meant to you. Uh, may I apologize and ask your forgiveness?
 Judy: You mean you’re sorry, Crazy Quilt?
 Crazy Quilt: Oh, of course, little girl!
 Jimmy: And you won’t ever do it again?
 Crazy Quilt: Oh, never, never, never!
 Cinnamon Bear: That’s fine! Now everything will be hunky dory if you’ll just return the silver star to us.
 Crazy Quilt: Of course, uh. Only…
 Judy: Only what?
 Crazy Quilt: Only… It dropped out of my mouth when I jumped off the cliff, and it’s lost in the Root Beer Ocean!

Announcer: Well, they’ve got the Crazy Quilt Dragon alright, but they haven’t got the silver star. It looks like a lot of strange adventures are in store for Judy and Jimmy and the Cinnamon Bear before they retrieve their lost treasure. So let’s be sure to listen next time and see what happens.

Sources:

https://www.hollywood360radio.com/newsletter-september-2021/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Kearns

http://www.radiospirits.com/email/joseph_kearns_020415.asp?pcode=T02NC001

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Donnie Ashworth
5 years ago

Enjoyed episode 3! 🙂 I remember Joseph Kearns well in the role of Mr. Wilson, and also as the doorknob.

Donnie Ashworth
5 years ago
Reply to  Kitty

Yeah, he was probably on a lot of things. With that expressive face, he made a perfect Mr. Wilson.

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